Transiting Planets in Water Houses

12 years ago, around August 2001 (when Jupiter first entered my 12th house), I watched a Japanese animation called 'Spirited Away'.  I got to the scene where Haku was comforting a tearful Chihiro (watch from 48:27 to 50:25 http://www.veoh.com/watch/v21054405yE2t9Mna ).  He said 'If you can't remember it (your name), you'll never find your way home.'  I found Chihiro's sobbing absolutely heart-wrenching.  It hit a nerve in me.  I suddenly felt rather lost too, and so I made a wish to the Universe to find out who I truly was.  Almost 2 years later, around July 2003, I thought I had the answer.  I was filled with confidence.  Life was great.  A series of events then happened in August 2003, which totally took that optimism away.  This coincided with Saturn entering my 12th house.  I then spent the next 2.5 years digging into my psyche, attempting to clear out whatever I needed to get rid of in order to eradicate that negative feeling........unfortunately, I was never able to fully expunge it from my system.  I restored an adequate amount of optimism and happiness in my hardware so I just accepted that these things happen in life and you just have to move on.

12 years later, with Jupiter back in my 12th house, but this time, Saturn in my 4th and Neptune in my 8th, I was led to plunge into the depths of my psyche and see what monsters still lurk down there.  Under the current Mercury retrograde in Scorpio in my 4th house, I somehow found myself re-watching 'Spirited Away'.  I got to the heart-wrenching part again and the same lost feeling returned.  However, this time round, I feel less naive - if I manage to find the answer then great, if not, that's fine too.  You get shown whatever you are meant to be ready for.