The Lion and the Lamb - My Ascendant and Sun

This morning, as I was tidying my room, I came across a bookmark  which I had received back in my teens.  It has the painting 'The Lion and the Lamb' by Heather Cooper, reflecting the inner turmoil faced by women in business.

Suddenly, the image of the Lion hit me - that's my Leo Ascendant! And the water reflection, the lamb - that's my Pisces Sun! (OK, I know Pisces are the two fish but personality-wise, the lamb and Pisces are pretty similar in terms of being mild, caring and gentle.....plus the fact that I'm a goat in the Chinese zodiac:-).

My Pisces Sun, lurking in the depths of the 8th house, constantly feels unsafe to stand under the limelight - where Leo Ascendant wants to be.  The key is to find out what Pisces Sun is afraid of.  What's she fearful about?  Once that's dealt with, then the lion can roar proudly in front of an audience, without upsetting the two fish.

As the ascendant is the pathway to be trekked upon in order to reach the solar goal, it is important for me to appease the fears faced by my Sun in order to allow the Lion to safely prance on the stage.  

Through family constellation, I have uncovered many of the fears held within my system.  Slowly, I learned why I was scared to be seen as past memories resurfaced, relating to how unsafe I had felt when I allowed myself to shine in front of others.  Once those emotional entanglements were dealt with, I was able to move forward and bask under the light.

Sorry for holding you back for so long, Leo Ascendant, thank you for the patient wait as I battled with my internal ghosts....

Living Astrologically: Mercury going direct - February 2015

Mercury is due to go direct on Thursday 12th February, having been roaming backwards in Aquarius for the past 3 weeks.  To be fair, personally, this current Mercury retrograde hasn't been remotely as disruptive and bumpy as previous ones, despite the fact that it visits my natal Venus 3 times......

Mercury retrograde is a way for the Universe to deliver a message to us.  That message is related to the sign in which Mercury retrogrades in. 

 (Aquarius is about breaking free from the cell that we have imprisoned ourselves in.  The Aquarian energy urges us to think beyond the conventional path.)  

The message reminds us that something needs to be addressed; something which you have been procrastinating about; something that has been pushed to the back of your mind 'for another day'.  The delivery date occurs around the midpoint of the cycle, i.e. around 30th January 2015.  What happened around that day?

I've mentioned elsewhere that I've been digging into my subconscious world using the insightful tool of family constellation.  After many rounds of digging, crying, and reconciling with my past, I feel my boundary is beginning to toughen (a Piscean's life time issue - I have Pisces Sun square Neptune), and this has a knock on effect on my own sense of self worth (Venus).  I can say no without feeling guilty.  I know when to back off without feeling bad.  I know what I want and won't buckle under external pressure and ridicule.  

I received the midpoint message right on 30th January.  A friend mentioned a plan to me which I had already thought about a year ago but didn't have the confidence or energy to execute.  Hearing the idea this time round, I feel that I could definitely do it... it'll take time, but it's well within my capability. 

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I keep on meeting....Aries

Astrology is a celestial language.  It is a way for the stars above to communicate with us.  All we need to do is decipher the meaning behind the patterns formed, i.e. planets dressed in different signs dwelling in various houses.

I remember once I purchased an astrology book talking about what it means if you keep on meeting people under a particular sign.  Just over a decade ago, I kept on meeting one Virgo after another!  Have you had this experience? I believe that there are no coincidences.  There are meanings behind everything, it's just a matter of understanding the message encrypted within.  Therefore, if you keep on encountering individuals born under a particular sign, it's highly likely that there are traits of that sign which you need to be aware of.  

Aries - Keep on meeting these active and dynamic individuals is a probable sign that the Universe would like you to be more brave and courageous.  Blaze a new trail and unleash the warrior in you. Be a pioneer.  Be spontaneous.  On the other hand, if you are prone to be rash and impulsive, then it's time to redress the balance.  It's a matter of projection.  If you find yourself becoming irritated with people who appear to be selfish, do not listen to you, short-tempered and impatient, then there's a high chance that either you have those traits but are unaware of them, or you have acted in those ways in the past and still have not forgiven that part of yourself.   It could be that you are the complete opposite (i.e. selfless, a fantastic listener and have a load of patience) but cannot stand those people who can get away with doing the opposite, e.g. 'He's so big-headed.' (you're probably jealous of his confidence).  'She's such a bitch.' (you may be jealous of her assertiveness because you're a doormat) etc......

This is a fantastic time to introspect and become aware of what's been triggered in your emotional system.  It's nothing to do with the other person, s/he is simply there as a reminder (don't shoot the messenger!).  Why is it that you have that emotional reaction?  Chances are that it can be traced back to a childhood incident which has left a scar inside of you.  Are you willing to track it down and uproot it?

I've been doing this pretty intensively for the past 5 months. Every time, when I feel emotionally triggered/challenged, I would ask myself what is it that I am unhappy about, and then try to relate it back to a childhood incident.  I originally apply the rules of family constellation in this process of 'digging up my emotional roots' but found that including astrology can also add another dimension to this search.

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The Subconscious Lunar Pull

The Moon symbolises:

• mother

• the past

• habits

• needs

• what we find comfortable

...and the list goes on
It is also the guardian of our subconscious world (where the Sun is our consciousness).  

I used to be a huge fan of The Secret, and to a certain extent, I still agree with its basic principles of positive thinking.  However, I often get asked, 'I've already set a positive intention, but it didn't work!' 

Well, that's probably due to the tug-of-war between the conscious (Sun) and subconscious (Moon) realms.  

On the surface, we ask for what we desire, e.g. abundance, love, status......, but that's our conscious world doing the talking.  Are you aware of what your subconscious is saying to you? That's the moon.  Look at its sign, house and aspects for further insight as to what your subconscious actually wants.

If we are unaware of our subconscious voice, then it can counteract with what we put out consciously.  It's a bit like putting on clean clothes without having a shower first.  As great as you may look in your fab outfit, your  body odour will gradually be seeping through the fabric.  So as 'clean' your thinking is consciously, if your subconscious is sending out opposing signals (bad smell), then it'll 'un-do' the effect of your so-called positive thinking.  

So what to do?

There's a range of tools out there to help ease one's emotions and clear out unwanted subconscious junk.  I'm loving family constellation at the moment because it has a Plutonic effect - it goes real deep and eradicates the problem at its roots.  The process may be too invasive and painful for some, but I personally find it more painful to carry all kinds of emotional triggers within my body.  Each to their own.....

What do you need to clear out to make room for your heart's desire?  What kinds of tools do you use to help release and heal your pain?

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Living Astrologically: Neptune going direct 2014

Neptune is about to go direct on 16th June at 4 degrees 47 minutes Pisces, having been in retrograde motion since 10th June at 7 degrees 35 minutes.

It's hovering over my Mars at the moment, so I'll be glad to see the back of that!  I have the tendency to procrastinate anyway so you can imagine how much I love this transit (not!).  However, every transit is here to take us one step closer to our solar goal.  Neptune is often described as blurring your boundaries.  I personally see it as a flood, washing over my rigid, pre-existing boundaries, as depicted by my Sun oppose Saturn.  I am a perfectionist and this Neptune transit, so far, has been slowly drowning the Perfectionist in me.  It all began last year when I first experienced a family constellation session and tried hypnotherapy too (transiting Jupiter was in my 12th house then, it was certainly an expansive journey for me as I ventured down into my subconscious realm).  A year on, I have now completed my hypnotherapy training and got myself absolutely hooked on family constellation.  My subconscious is getting a good old clean, just like Hercules cleaning out the Augean stables.  With Neptune just leaving my natal Mars and approaching my South Node and Sun, I know the cleansing of my stable has only just begun.....

That's my personal experience of the current Neptune transit, here's a great article on Neptune going direct in Pisces in general (http://rubyslipper.ca/2014/11/neptune-direct-pisces/).  It's written so well that there's no need for me to repeat the points here (I'm still under the Neptune conjunct Mars influence after all....)

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