Qigong - an appealing solution for my Mars in Pisces

With natal Mars in Pisces, I'm forever on the lookout for suitable ways to strengthen my physical body.  I tend to run away (or collapse!) from anything that is too strenuous and dynamic.  Yoga is a fantastic option,  and I was involved in kundalini yoga for a while, however, living in the far east, I thought I would involve myself in some authentic qigong (or chi kung).  It is an ancient Chinese practice which seeks to integrate physical movements, breathing techniques and concentrated mental intentions.  I see it as a Chinese form of yoga, as 'qi' (or chi) is akin to 'prana', the life force.  'Gong' (or kung) can be translated as 'skill' or 'work', so putting it together, it is the skill of disciplining your life energy to improve your vitality.  It is also an active form of meditation to cultivate mindfulness.

My first qigong class was back in April this year.  Looking back at the ephemeris, I noticed many tight aspects to my natal Piscean Sun.

Triggers from inner planets:

t. Venus conjunct n. Sun  (I like the idea of qigong and I get to go with my dear friends)
t. Mars quincunx n. Sun   (Do I really want to spend 2 whole days on it?  Would it be tiring?)

Aspects from outer planets:

t. Pluto Capricorn sextile n. Sun  (An opportunity to shed a layer and to move closer to my solar goals)
t. Jupiter Cancer trine n. Sun  (It's a form of nourishment to my core self)

I've been going back every 2 months to work with the charismatic qigong master (our initial prediction of him being a Leo was correct, as he readily displays his playful child persona on every occasion - even though he is in his 80s!  He loves standing on the mini stage, under the spotlight, with students taking videos on their smartphones to record all the postures.)

I have just returned from another weekend workshop and found an obvious increase in my energy level this time.  Besides this, I appear to be more outspoken and not as affected by external opinions as I used to.  It seems that my natal Mercury in Aries received a little boost (trine) from the transiting Mercury-Jupiter conjunction in Leo. I can definitely see evidence of the release of my inner spokesperson.  I was able to express some hidden thoughts to my friends, which I had been harbouring for the past year.  In addition, I have been working on my inner child (Leo) which has exposed more hidden (12th) memories from childhood.

The Tao of Tea - My transiting Jupiter oppose natal Venus experience

I've been looking for a Chinese tea ceremony class for the past year but couldn't find one that suited my schedule.  I finally got my wish as transiting Jupiter entered Leo (oppose my natal Venus), where an opportunity arose for me to unwind (Venus) and learn about the wisdom behind the art of Chinese tea appreciation.  For once, I could just relax and enjoy being a student.

It was certainly a Jupiterian experience as it involved the Buddhist teaching of 'mindfulness' - to live in the moment in an non-judgmental manner.  The whole process of preparing the tea - from boiling water and rinsing the tea utensils and tea leaves, to the brewing and serving of the tea, help us to stay focus on the moment.  I've discovered that this form of meditation is perfect for me, as I still find it a challenge to stay awake during transcendental meditation. However, with my innate Sun-Saturn opposition, there were occasions when my inner Perfectionist made its appearance and attempted to get things right, which initially got in the way of appreciating the colour, aroma and taste of the final product.  

I'm a firm believer of the adage 'practice makes perfect', I'm sure I'll learn to direct the five senses towards the appreciation of the tea.........oops, there goes my Perfectionist again!

Living Astrologically: Pisces Sun in 8th - fish in deep water

I found out another soul in my extended family tree has passed over to the other side.

I just wish that it wouldn't take something so drastic and melancholic to kick me up the backside and wake me up concerning my own life journey. Perhaps that's what it means to have my Piscean Sun in the 8th - to allow my twin fish to dive deeply into dark waters as part of my 'hero's journey', moving me closer towards my solar destination through 8th house topics such as deaths....

I thought back to all the things I'm fearful about (of which I have many, as I do have my Saturn oppose my Sun and Mars after all) and all of a sudden, those fears seem so insignificant - at least I'm still alive.  I still have many chances to go after my dreams, unlike my deceased relative.  

I have many oppositions in my chart and one manifestation is that I am easily influenced by external sources.  I'm afraid to act because I worry about what other people may think.  Having overcome the initial shock and sadness of this morning's new, I began to think how irrelevant other people's opinions are, especially those with an ulterior motive.  Most of the time, I know people say things to put me off (I don't have my 8th house emphasis for nothing.  Yes, I can smell those ulterior motives a mile away, but I'm still a failure in that I allow them to affect me).  Not today though.  

I just need to hold onto this feeling for future reference.

Thank you for this final message.  R.I.P 

Do you have a 8th house emphasis?  How is it reflected in your life?

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Living Astrologically: Jupiter in Gemini T-squaring my Sun-Saturn opposition

Jupiter first entered Gemini on 11/12th June 2012.  It began its retrograde motion on 4th October 2012 and resumed direct motion on 30th January 2013.  It is due to pass the torch onto Cancer on 26th June 2013.

Jupiter is commonly known as the planet of luck and expansion.  Its negative expression is 'excess':  overdoing, overwhelming, overly optimistic, overly arrogant.....

In Gemini, information overload is a possible manifestation, as is being a big gossip:-P

For me, with the planet of luck T-squaring my natal Sun-Saturn opposition, I've had a lesson in building my self-esteem.

I was battling with a nasty case of adult acne when Jupiter first exactly squared my natal Saturn back in mid August 2012.  I simply wanted to hide away in a hole and never come out until I'm facially flawless again.  In the end, it took me over 10 months to clear the infestation.  I was extremely conscious of my unsightly skin and did not want to leave the safety of my home - I didn't want the world to see how awful I looked.  However, I had to make a living so I force myself out of the house everyday.    By the time it squared my natal Sun-Saturn opposition in Nov-Dec 2012 for the second time, I realised that people around me still treated me the same as before, it's ME who couldn't accept myself due to a surface-level flaw.  By now, I had received countless ways of getting rid of my pimples, and had crammed my drawers with acne creams of all kinds, half purchased after researching online and the other half given to me by worried friends (t. JU in 11th).  Now (March 2013) I'm receiving my final square to my SO-SA opposition and I'm happy to announce that my face is finally on its road to recovery.    I had been so focused on my external life (face - Saturn) that I had neglected my inner self (Sun, my solar quest).  I had been placing too much emphasis on the material world (Saturn in my natal 2nd) at the expense of neglecting my spiritual health (Sun in Pisces 8th).  I should be grateful that it is transiting Jupiter that has been kicking my Sun-Saturn butt, and not other heavier and more solemn planets.  It's not fun looking ugly and losing self-confidence, but at least it's not life threatening.  I was able to remain (relatively) optimistic throughout, and whenever I felt myself getting weak, there's always someone there to lend me moral support.  It made me see that noone treated me any differently except myself (SO-SA opposition is a huge critic).  

What's your Jupiter in Gemini story?

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Praying is not wishful thinking!

I came across this article, written by astrologer Pam Ciampi, in the Feb/Mar 2013 issue of The Mountain Astrologer.  I thought it's rather appropriate under the Pisces New Moon.  Here's an excerpt from it:

'In the middle of the previous decade, science discovered that the human heart is the strongest generator of electromagnetic fields in the body.  The human heart puts out about 100,000 times more electrical energy and 5000 times more magnetic charge than the brain.  According to Gregg Braden, what this means is that 'when we create a feeling in our hearts the way the ancients told us to - feelings of appreciation, gratitude, healing, love and compassion - what we are really doing is creating a very powerful waves of electrical and magnetic energy inside our heart that floods our body with these fields and extends beyond our bodies into the world around us.  And that's how we influence the physical world around us - we can literally rearrange the atoms of physical matter through these fields if we learn to focus and hone this language.'

Hence praying and maintaining a feel of gratitude in your heart CAN magnetise what you want into your life.  It's not wishful thinking!

Take advantage of the upcoming powerful New Moon in Pisces to write down your wishes.

Wishing period:  Tuesday 12th March 11:18 am to Wednesday 13th March 09:00 (GMT)

(The Void of Course Moon in Pisces has been taken into account)

Stirring from Slumber

With 7 planets in Pisces as we speak (Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars, Neptune and Chiron), the stars are definitely reflecting a loud message back to us mortals roaming on earth - to have compassion, to tap into our emotions, to be sensitive to the needs of ourselves and others, to dissolve our boundaries and merge with the Universe......  

Being a Pisces (Sun, Mars, South Node and a host of minor planets), I'm feeling rather at home in this nebulous space - too at home.  I can't wait for these planets, one by one, to move into Aries.  I can't wait for the surge of Arian enthusiasm and energy to wake us all up again (not saying the Pisces stellium is a bad idea, I'm just feeling rather spaced out and am looking forward to a change of scenery). 

Mars (and the Moon) will be the first to enter the dynamic territory of Aries on 12th March, followed by the Sun on 20th March, marking the start of a new astrological year.  The Goddess of Love, Venus, will then dance into Aries on 22nd March.  Leaving Mercury, who will join the crew next month on 14th April.  We will sure to get a shock of some kind as each of these planets pays a transient visit to Uranus in the coming weeks.  

Image courtesy of [image creator name] / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

New Moon in Pisces 2013

I don't know about you, but I'm absolutely 'Piscesed out' with the Pisces stellium playing in the background.  Mercury then decided to retrograde in Pisces and now we are approaching a Pisces New Moon.  How do you all feel?  Spaced out?  Unfocused?  You're not alone.  Let's see how we can make the most of this dreamy and compassionate sign.

On 11th/12th March, we have the Sun and Moon having their monthly rendezvous under the sign of Pisces at 21 degrees 24 minutes.  It conjunct Venus (17 degrees 9 minutes Pisces) and trine the North Node (18 degrees Scorpio) the tightest.  With Venus exalted in Pisces, this aspect is urging us to extend our kindness selflessly and unconditionally and to go beyond the confines of the boundaries we have built around ourselves.  With Mercury retrograding in Pisces (in detriment), I'm not sure if we should trust our judgment in discerning which boundaries to dissolve.  However, this retrograde period, sandwiched between Neptune and Chiron, gives us a fantastic platform to heal past wounds through introspection, i.e. dig into the past and you are likely to find some loose ends and unfinished business hanging within, subconsciously hindering you from going forward.  This 'healing sandwich' (Neptune-Mercury-Chiron) trine Saturn in Scorpio, giving us a tangible way of delving into the depths of our emotions.

It is also worth checking out the rulers of this New Moon too - Jupiter and Neptune.  We have already talked about Neptune.  Let's look at Jupiter.  It is in Gemini squaring the Pisces stellium; the 'healing sandwich' being the tightest.  This to me is like a war between 'water' and 'air', i.e. heart versus head.  Perhaps we are overusing our logic (Jupiter in Gemini) and need to consider tapping into our emotions (Pisces stellium).  Too often, we talk about our woes, but do we allow our bodies to feel the sorrow?  Sometimes, we just need to release that pent-up anger/sadness in our systems through crying or screaming or whatever (safe) means you choose.  This message is repeated by the fact that Jupiter in Gemini is ruled by Mercury in Pisces - which goes back to emotions again.  Communicating your feelings with words isn't always easy and comfortable  (Mercury in detriment in Pisces), so consider exploring other means, e.g. through art (drawing) or music (singing).  And isn't it interesting that both rulers, Neptune and Jupiter, are locked in a square too.  Head or heart?  Logic or emotion?

Here we come to the end of an astrological cycle with Pisces.  It is a great time to evaluate our mortal  progress before we embark on a new cycle when the Sun enters Aries on 20th March.  Use this time for self-healing - deal with yourself first, if you don't look after yourself sufficiently, how can you make your contribution to the Universal collective?

Where this new moon falls in your chart could be the area of your life where a portal can be formed between yourself and the universal consciousness.

Where does this New Moon fall in your natal chart?  Does it make any aspects to any planets/points?

So long, Mercury retrograde in Scorpio...

Mercury goes retrograde three times a year, and every time, my friend Flo would dread its approach and complain during its backward motion.

Admittedly, I have been quite fortunate, in that, the usual hiccups associated with Mercury retrograde had been keeping its distance from me.  This is largely due to the lack of aspects it makes to my natal chart.

Not this time.

Transiting my 4th house, retrograding Mercury conjunct my Uranus oppose Moon. The past month (include the shadow phase from 18th October 2012) has been an intensive lesson for me emotionally.  My emotions have been taken on a roller coaster ride.  I'm glad that since the early hours of today (Hong Kong time), Mercury has finally resumed its forward motion.  However, we're not out of the woods until 14th December.

For me, I also have Saturn transiting my 4th house.  It conjunct my IC around the time when Mercury entered its shadow phase.  It is now approaching a T-Square to my ASC-DSC axis as we head towards the lunar eclipse in Gemini (which, luckily, makes a sextile to my ASC).  I do feel emotionally challenged, dealing with family matters, and also, reacquainting with all those deep and dark emotions I have long shoved to the back of my mental cupboard.  While dealing with these negative emotions, I had a temporary shock on realisation that I didn't loathe them at all - does that make me a bad person?  No, at least, I don't think so.  It makes me more aware of my tendency to use my head to analyse my feelings and emotions - something I didn't think I had been doing (since I'm a water-earth individual).  I become conscious of using the aloof Uranus (oppose my Moon) to help get a grip on my fluctuating feelings.

I welcome the direct motion of Mercury with open arms;  it is as if the fog finally clears, taking away my mental confusion.  The lunar eclipse in Gemini, ruled by Mercury, is likely to give us some guidance on our present projects - what needs tweaking?  Hidden information may also come to light.

With Venus conjunct Saturn exactly around the middle of this week (week beginning 26th November 2012) sextile the Mars-Pluto conjunction, we may experience the need to be in charge of a situation.  The Venus-Saturn conjunction also trine the Chiron-Neptune conjunction in Pisces, allowing us to realise and appreciate that there are matters which are beyond our control and we should consider letting go and permit the Universe to intervene instead.

By the way, if you feel you haven't sussed out the lesson behind this Scorpionic/Sagittarian Mercury retrograde, don't worry, we have another one (completely in Scorpio this time) next October-November (2013)......

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Saturn Stepping into Scorpio - Part 3

Saturn is approaching 4 degrees Scorpio as I write this.  How has it been for you so far?

For me, Saturn is moving away from a conjunction to my IC.  It is now officially transiting my 4th house.

The 4th house is traditionally associated with one of the parents, your home, your roots, your heritage, a sense of belonging to a tribe, endings, the past and your emotional needs.

For the past 2 weeks, a huge amount of fear (of the Scorpionic kind) has been aroused by the health concern of one of my parents.  Thankfully, it is not as sinister as I had first feared.  I thank the Universe for the early warning signals so we have now transformed the way we eat and live (Pluto transiting my 6th).

Ugly emotions - jealousy, suspicion, lust and guilt lurking in the Scorpionic cauldron

I have always been aware of my dark side (with most of my personal planets in the 8th) and with Mars in Pisces, I consider myself to be pretty forgiving.   Lately though, I'm feeling battered by those intense emotions.  

Spending a weekend away at an astrology camp last week has really opened up my emotional channels - not that I wasn't aware of my emotional presence, but rather, it gave me the courage to face them head-on.

Here goes with de-cluttering my emotional junk.

• I've been holding a grudge against someone for almost a decade because of some hurtful words she uttered to me.  In an attempt to console me over a break-up, she said to me, 'He may be the one for you but you may not be the one for him'.  I was speechless.  My heart is breaking here and you give it another stab?!  It may be the truth but it was not what I wanted to hear at that moment.  I've kept my distance from this individual since that episode and have stopped confiding in her.  I'm NOT proud of this at all.  Normally, I can at least forgive but this time, I can neither forgive nor forget.  I don't know if during the 2.5 years of Saturn in Scorpio, or even, in the upcoming Solar Eclipse in Scorpio (as it conjunct my Uranus and oppose my Moon), I will be given the opportunity to sort this out.  If the past wants to catch-up with me, then I'm open to it but don't expect me to go after it voluntarily.

• In recent weeks, I'm particularly feeling pressured to act and behave in ways that are culturally accepted and expected of me.  Conformity is not my strong point, especially with my natal Uranus in my 4th oppose my Moon in the 10th, at least not truly.  I pretend that everything is fine externally when I am fuming inside.  How appropriate that I came across a news article on BBC News today which talks about the exact same topic I'm about to embark on:  Why are people so mean to single people? (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-20219349) I was pretty much minding my own business when I first arrived in Hong Kong four years ago, then gradually, thanks to my tendency to be a sponge, I began to absorb all the judgmental criticisms dished out by the people I meet here - just for being single.  Would you go up to someone and ask, 'Why are you fat?'  or 'Why are you short?' or 'Why are you so ugly?'  Of course you wouldn't.  So why challenge someone for not being in a relationship?  Now, I just reply with, 'I don't know where he is,'  because that is the truest answer I can muster.  I see red when people in dysfunctional relationships begin to attack me on this issue.  But what can one do when we live in a world where people would rather stay with an unfaithful partner and pretend nothing is wrong than be single.  I know for a fact that infidelity is an issue among many of the married couples around me, but they merely turn a blind-eye to it - that is absolutely fine with me, but please don't go around giving me an earfull when you are not perfect.            

OK, rant over.  To those people who have verbally abused me:  Sorry; Please forgive me; Thank you and I love you.....this is something I've picked up at the Astro Camp, even though what I really want to say is:  Piss off; Get out of my sight; Go to Hell and Stay there (couldn't resist that!).

A song for any wounded emotions in your system:

Territorial Dispute

The dispute between China and Japan over Diaoyu/Senkaku Islands is triggering a surprisingly immense amount of discomfort within me (probably because it is a 4th house issue!).  As a British Chinese, I've always been oblivious to what goes on in China.  However, since my relocation back to Hong Kong 4 years ago, my feelings have changed.  My knowledge in Chinese History is almost non-existent.  I just know that China somehow lost Diaoyu Islands to the Japanese a long time ago.  I have never questioned about it. My Chinese friends can openly express their disapprovals towards the Japanese but I can't make myself do that.   Twelve years ago, I took up employment in Japan as an English assistant teacher.  For three years, I have met some wonderful individuals whom I am still in contact with.  I simply cannot stereotype the whole nation.

What is the truth behind this controversy?

The only thing I ask for is the truth, nothing but the truth.  This is rather appropriate with Mercury in retrograde, first in truth-seeking Sagittarius, then in secret-exposing Scorpio.  My 8th house Mercury along with my Pluto in 3rd only ask for the truth to be unearthed.  

Last night, I came across the following article, siding with the Japanese on this issue:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/japan/9636139/Senkaku-Islands-setting-the-record-straight.html

Then I encountered the following article with opposing evidence:
http://kristof.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/09/19/the-inconvenient-truth-behind-the-diaoyusenkaku-islands/

I pray for this conflict to be resolved as peacefully as possible.

Image courtesy of [image creator name] / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Saturn stepping into Scorpio - Part 1

Saturn entered into the secret realm of Scorpio on 6th October.  

The stern reputation of Saturn stepping into the mysterious territory of intense Scorpio has aroused some fear, particularly among those with an abundant amount of planets in fixed signs (Scorpio, Taurus, Leo, Aquarius).  It's not all doom and gloom though.   There are plenty of ways to utilise this energy positively.

De-clutter 

Saturn is about structure. Scorpio goes deep, so deep that you probably have forgotten about half of its contents.  This is a great time to de-clutter your physical living space and your emotional depth.  Anything that you have been holding onto for too long, and is hindering you from moving forward, needs to be cleared from your system.

Transformation

If you don't want to part with your junk,  then the next best thing to do is transmute them.  Physically, anything you don't want to throw away can be made into something else, e.g. from old clothes to a patchwork quilt.  That way, you still get to keep the original product but instead of it taking up wardrobe space, you can derive some practical use from it.  Donation is another fantastic way to get rid of your junk - you transfer your items onto someone else who can make more use out of them than you.

Emotionally, anything hurtful that is floating in your psyche is likely to re-surface or be triggered by an external event.  Transform it into something useful by being willing to view it from a different perspective.  Instead of feeling victimised from a past trauma, thank the person for giving you the opportunity to become a stronger, a more forgiving person - remember, as cliche as it may sound, the Universe only gives you what you can handle.  

Emotional Landscape

Use this time to restructure your emotional landscape. Confront your past emotional trauma in an authoritative and structured way, possibly with the help of a professional therapist if required.  You're the boss of your emotions, you own them, not the other way round.

This is also a time when you are more aware of the hidden motives of others and become more sensitised to non-verbal ways of interacting with them.

I quite like Elsa P's interpretation of this transit:  http://www.elsaelsa.com/astrology/2012/10/21/saturn-in-scorpio-spider-senses/#more-33617

Image courtesy of [image creator name] / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Saturn transits from 3rd to 4th house - time for a system update

I was yet again inspired by intuitive astrologer, Robert Ohotto's latest radio show on 'The Power of your Imagination versus Will'.  

Ohotto mentions that we all have different programs running in us (aka our belief system).  These were all downloaded from childhood - from the interaction with parental or authoritative figures, to the background influence of our family, society or culture.

I certainly have the 'Critic' and 'Perfectionist' programs running in me, though I think I was only conscious of them from my mid 20s (as transiting Saturn was approaching my 2nd house, where my natal Saturn also resides).

I also recall that in my late 20s, I began to 'update' my beliefs on money. I assimilated, culturally, that money was earned through blood and sweat, hence I associated money with extreme hardship.  How refreshing it was when I encountered Louisa Hay and John Randolph's views on this very topic.  In their books,  'You Can Heal Your Life' and 'The Abundance Book' respectively, they discuss that it is our consciousness on abundance that is bringing prosperity to us, and not just sheer hard work.

Here's a link to one of Louise Hay's article on success and abundance:
http://www.healyourlife.com/author-louise-l-hay/2011/04/lifeshelp/success-and-abundance/are-you-friends-with-your-money

Here's a link to my previous blog entries on both of these authors on the topic of abundance:
http://cosmicpotential.blogspot.hk/search?q=louise+hay+money

As transiting Saturn approaches my 4th house of home, family, roots and emotional history,  I feel it is time, yet again, to take an inventory of my past and reassess which 'software programs' running in my psyche require an upgrade or a total eradication.

Taking this one step further, are there any virus in your system which is hindering the smooth running of your other programs?

Come to think of it, perhaps I need to update my 'firewall' to protect myself from malicious verbal attacks.  Or perhaps I merely need to update my virus scan?

What programs are currently running in your system?  

Are you due for an upgrade?


Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Living Astrologically: Balancing the Virgo-Pisces polarity

Think positive!

Stay calm!

Everything is OK!

Now apply them in the REAL world.

How can you stay positive when you have people in your life shedding tears before your very eyes because members of their family is dying?  How do you stay calm when you are struggling to make ends meet?  How can you bring yourself to say 'Everything is OK' when clearly it isn't?  

As a Pisces Sun, Mars and South Node oppose Saturn and North Node in Virgo native, I have taken on the lesson of balancing the Virgo-Pisces polarity: to make spirituality practical and relevant in our daily lives.

It is so easy to remain positive and calm when you are in the comfort of your own home, with your nose behind a new age book, teaching you mantras to chant to keep your mind focused on 'what you want'.  Don't get me wrong, I truly believe in the power of positive thinking but the real test comes when we integrate ourselves back into the real world.  How do we convince people of the value of positive thinking when disasters befall them?  This reminds me of James Redfield's second novel in the Celestine Prophecy series, The Tenth Insight:  Holding the Vision.  How do we hold the spiritual vision (Pisces) in reality (Virgo)?

This is how I attempt to utilise my Virgo-Pisces polarity:

• Step behind the Virgo mask and stabilise your emotions
• Listen with the Pisces heart
• Access the spiritual teachings (Pisces) embedded in your brain (Virgo)
• Articulate (Virgo) the spiritual wisdom (Pisces) as appropriate

Yes, easier said than done, but I believe wholeheartedly that everything happens for a reason.  

No matter how tough the lesson, there is a gem buried in there somewhere.  

Your heart might be breaking but the cruel reality is - the world keeps on moving whether you like it or not.  

Have a good cry, extract the lesson within and move on.  

We are all here for a reason.

Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

To hell with you, Perfectionist!

With my natal Sun in opposition to Saturn, I am fully aware of my cautious and fearful disposition.  Every time when this axis is activated by transits, something is sure to occur which will lead me to question myself (my natal Saturn in 2nd house).  I'm likely to feel depressed and bereft of self-confidence.  I then seek ways to boost my self-esteem.  This is achieved by either sharing my feelings with a trusted friend, or, depending on the actual situation, I may attempt to prove my self-worth my gaining external recognition (i.e. studying for a certificate).  Whatever I choose to do, it often involves seeking approval elsewhere.  I've always attributed this tendency to the fact that I'm a perfectionist so when I am told I'm not up to par, I will find ways to rectify that.  My natal Saturn is in Virgo. 

I honestly cannot recall being a perfectionist as a child.  It was not until transiting Saturn entered my first house when I finally met my 'Perfectionist' in the form of a work colleague.  I didn't have much contact with her initially, but as transiting Saturn was slowly approaching my natal Saturn in my 2nd house (i.e. my first Saturn return), we became friends and I began to entrust her with my woes at work.  However, gradually, I noticed how she would criticise and undermine me indirectly, so I was never sure if she was being malicious or I was being paranoid about it all.  To cut a long story short, I ended up joining forces with other like-minded 'victims' of hers and  moved on professionally by the time my first Saturn return came round.

In my next place of work, I found myself having judgmental thoughts on my new colleagues - just like the 'Perfectionist' I had met previously.  I was forced to accept that, in me, there also lies a Perfectionist.

I have met many more Perfectionists since then.  At least now, I'm recognising them as part of me.  Every time when one appears, I will fervently try to do some inner work to make myself feel better.  Every time, I thought I had 'sussed it out', but on encountering the next Perfectionist, I find myself thinking 'Oh no!  Why do I feel so crap again?  I thought I was over that!'

Today, I was rather inspired by a radio show, titled 'Creating a true emancipation from your past', hosted by Robert Ohotto, an American intuitive astrologer.  (http://www.ohotto.com/radio/soul_connexions/# available until Monday 9th July 2012).  Ohotto mentions the 'rubber band effect', where we might think we have conquered our problems, only to find ourselves getting annoyed when we land in yet another similar situation.  The root of this tendency can be traced back to being a perfectionist.  Ohotto suggests that it is the culture we are in that is wounding us (even our parents and their parents were under cultural influence, who then passed on their 'culturally-tainted wisdom' to us).  Ohotto urges us to ask ourselves if we are 'shame-based driven' or 'self-love driven.'  Are you losing weight following society's beauty guidelines or because you love yourself enough to work towards a healthier body?  Every time when you say to yourself:

'I am not good enough because _________, therefore I must get rid of/heal from ___________,' 

you are shaming yourself and attempting to 'fix' the problem, Perfectionist-style.  Ohotto sums up the whole idea by saying that 'Emancipation from the past is about loving yourself forward instead of demanding perfectionism.'  

In essence, it is OK to be less than perfect.  

It is acceptable to give yourself a rest.  

It is fine to give yourself a break and room to breath.  

It is not sinful to 'tread water'.  

Be kind to yourself.  Be forgiving to yourself.  

'You should lose weight.'  Really?  But I'm clinically healthy.  

'You should be married by now.'  Why?  Just because it is culturally expected of me?  

'You should find yourself a higher paid job.'  But I'm happy where I am.  

Whatever the claim, it has its roots culturally.  Unfortunately, almost everyone on this planet is under the cultural spell.  Many of us allow external criticisms and judgments to get the better of us and unleash the Perfectionist within.  Being motivated to go after our goals has its advantages, but when it is having a debilitating effect on us physically and psychologically, we need to understand that those hurtful words were uttered due to our cultural upbringing.  So instead of getting defensive, ask yourself what do YOU really want out of life?  I wonder if the period when Venus was in retrograde (15th May to 26th June 2012) had brought you any insights on this matter?  

What do you truly value?

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Full Moon in Scorpio 2012

The Full Moon in Scorpio at 16 degrees 1 minute is exact on 6th May at 4:35am GMT.  The Sun in Taurus fully illuminates the Moon, bringing hidden information to light.  Look out for any messages presenting themselves to you a few days before or after this full moon.  

With Taurus and Scorpio, a balance is called for between simplicity and complexity.  This may not be easy to achieve, especially with expansive Jupiter conjunct the Sun in Taurus, magnifying one's optimism and blowing emotions out of proportion.  Luckily, the Mercury in Aries and Saturn in Libra opposition acts as a brake, making us think twice before we voice our thoughts, and with Venus in Gemini sending a trine to Saturn, take it easy and don't take seemingly negative comments to heart, the intention may not be as bad as you think.  Having said that, be discerning when it comes to dishing out your compassion with Mars continuing to oppose the Neptune-Chiron conjunction.  The solution could be very simple indeed, but over-analysis of the situation may bring distrust and suspicion into the picture, clouding your ultimate judgement.  

With retrograding Pluto trine Mars and the Sun, the undercurrent of the world's turmoil can be distressing, but it can also act as a driving force, encouraging us to dig deep within and extract our hidden potential - how can we survive in our present society with job cuts and inflation?  What more can we offer our clients/customers/company/family/community?  In addition, Pluto in Capricorn is tightening its square to Uranus in Aries - how can we deal with our frustration and anger towards those in authority, who appear to have the power and control to affect our everyday lives?  

This Full Moon trine and sextile my North Node in the 2nd house, bringing me opportunities to move out of my comfort zone and achieve what I've signed up for in this lifetime.  Just as long as I'm willing to take the first step, it won't be as insurmountable as I think...

Where is this Full Moon illuminating in your chart?

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Whitney - We'll always love you

I was shocked beyond words this morning when I heard about Houston's demise.  Since my blog entry on transiting Uranus conjunct transiting Venus in Aries, 2 songs crept into my head and refused to leave:  Anita Baker's Sweet Love and Whitney Houston's All At Once.    How is it possible that the owner of the soothing voice that had been occupying my mind for the past couple of days is no longer breathing in the mortal realm?  

Houston's amazing voice had captivated a global audience for decades.  Her performance wasn't just for the sake of self-expression, but serving others through her God-given talent - her breathtakingly beautiful voice (Sun conjunct Venus in Leo in 6th oppose Saturn in Aquarius in 12th).  It was a shame drug addiction ruined her singing career (Pisces Ascendant conjunct Chiron in 1st oppose Pluto-Mercury-Uranus in 6/7th; Neptune in Scorpio in 8th).

As transiting Pluto from the 10th house tightly square her natal Mars in 7th (Placidus, 8th Equal House), Houston completed her Sacred Contract on Planet Earth, leaving behind a legacy of divinely powerful songs (transiting MC separating from her natal Moon-Jupiter conjunction in Aries in 1st; transiting Jupiter trine Uranus in Virgo 6th).  With her Chiron exactly conjunct my Sun, I have always personally found Houston's voice to be extremely therapeutic. 

Whitney, rest in peace.  Thank you for the music.  Thank you for being an inspiration to us all.

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Share your thoughts on transiting Uranus conjunct transiting Venus......

Since its ingress into bold and courageous Aries on Wednesday 8th February, transiting Venus has been locked in an Aries conjunction with transiting Uranus.  The conjunction tightens over the next couple of days (9th-10th) before the love goddess pulls away from Uranus in the chariot of fire by next week.

Venus, a sensual planet, may not express itself well in Aries, as Aries is detriment in Venus.  Coupled with its link to liberating and shocking Uranus, we could expect loving feelings to come suddenly, your own values and beliefs expressed bluntly and loudly, and depending on where this electrifying pair is in your chart, you may throw caution to the wind and live life in the fast land - but only temporarily....

For me, on the first day when Venus entered Aries (i.e. Aries Point), I found myself declaring, in public, 'I don't want any principles.  They got me nowhere in the past so I would much rather live life without any!'  This transiting pair happened to be sitting right on my natal Mercury in Aries 8th house - Aries point!  And as if that wasn't enough, I had another outburst a while later with, 'I'm sick and tired of being considerate and putting other people's needs before mine.  I'm doing this because I want to.'  It felt so liberating, but I'm sure, knowing me, I'll start to cringe once transiting Venus loosens its grip on Uranus by next week.  For now though, I'm still savouring the proud  feeling of allowing myself to speak my mind.......

Where is this transiting pair in your chart?  What has it 'made' you do?

Image: Michal Marcol / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Share your thoughts on Mars in Virgo retrograde

"Astrology can tell you many things. It can tell you what energy is available to an individual and how it’s likely to affect them. It cannot, however, tell you precisely how they will express it. Given the fact that each person has free will a person can express that energy on a continuum of lower to higher."  Satori, on ElsaElsa.com, very succinctly expressed what astrology is all about: http://www.elsaelsa.com/astrology/2012/02/08/making-astrology-personal/

The best way to learn astrology is by studying your own transits.  The current Mars retrograde is definitely putting a damper on my motivational energy.  However, since Mars in Virgo is ruled by Mercury, with my natal Mercury is in Aries 8th house, I have found that I'm less impulsive with voicing my thoughts (especially when I'm angry).  Transiting Mars is moving in my 2nd house and will conjunct my natal North Node by the end of this month and my natal Saturn by next month, since both are oppose my natal Sun, I'm sure issues of my beliefs and self-esteem are more likely to be the focus, judging by my recent events.

How's transiting Mars expressing itself in your life at the moment?

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Saturn in Libra retrograde 2012

Saturn, the planet of boundaries, restrictions and limitations, goes retrograde in peace-loving Libra on 7th February (14.03 GMT), which is closely followed by the Leo Full Moon in less than 8 hours away.  

Tracking its ingress in Libra, I have found that Saturn, asking us to learn through our relationships with others, is not merely giving us a second, but a third chance to grasp the lessons in Libra. 

Saturn first stepped over the threshold of vain and indecisive Libra back on 30th October 2009.  By the time it reached 4 degrees 39 minutes on 13th January 2010, it began to retrograde in Libra and entered back into the territory of Virgo on 7th April 2010.  So between 30th October 2009 and 7th April, Saturn was travelling in Libra between 0 to 4 degrees 39 minutes, but in retrograde motion from 13th January 2010.

By 30th May 2010, Saturn began to move direct again, reaching Libra on 22nd July 2010 and will stay in this urbane sign until 5th October 2012.

The 2nd retrograde period of Saturn in Libra began on 26th January 2011 at 17 degrees 13.6 Libra, reaching 10 degrees 26.7 minutes Libra on 13th June 2011, thus revisiting the degrees already covered between 22nd October 2010 and 25th January 2011. 

The 3rd retrograde period of Saturn in Libra is from 7th February 2012 at 29 degrees 30.5 minutes Libra, reaching 22 degrees 45.8 minutes on 24/25th June 2012, thus revisiting the degrees already covered between 4th November 2011 and 6th February 2012.

The best way to learn astrology is by analysing your own chart and transits.  I got my diaries out, focusing on those periods stated above and boiled down to the conclusion that Saturn in Libra, during its sojourn in my 2nd/3rd houses, sextile/trine my ASC/DES axis, oppose my Mercury and conjunct my Pluto, has been forcing me to learn new ways of relating to people, and through those interactions, I re-developed my own self-confidence and re-organised my belief system.  Transiting Saturn is currently square my natal Jupiter and natal Venus, further pushing me to ruminate my true beliefs and values.  It is a time to discard what is no longer needed and to make room for the new.

Saturn is the strict disciplinarian, but in Libra, dressed in refined attire, oozing grace and charm.

What have you learned/refused to learn/still need to learn?

Image: Michal Marcol / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Astrological Rapport

Astrologically speaking, water Pisces and earth Taurus get on very well together.  I have met many Taureans and I did become great friends with them, however,  I have never got on with them the way I have got on with Athena.

I don't warm up to people easily but I felt at ease with Athena instantly.  We have been friends for well over a decade now and it's not until quite recently that I put our charts together and found many tight conjunctions between us.

- Her Saturn conjunct my Sun in 8th - I can be completely honest with her and trust her wholeheartedly.  I feel my secrets are completely safe with her.

- Her Sun conjunct my MC/Her Uranus-Mars-Pluto cluster conjunct my Saturn in 2nd  - Her vibrant energy has a positive effect on the way I see myself.

- Her Neptune conjunct my Uranus in 4th - She inspired me to go after my dreams and gave me a lot of spiritual guidance.  She introduced Angel therapist, Doreen Virtue's spiritual teachings to me, opening my eyes to a new way of seeing life.

- Her Jupiter conjunct my Moon in 10th - I can tell her anything and not afraid of being judged by her.  She always encourages me to have faith in myself.

- Her Venus conjunct my Chiron in 10th - I love being in her presence.  She has a calming effect on me.

Have you ever met people you have an instant rapport with?  What's the astrology between you and them?

Oppositions - reflections of your inner soul

I have quite a number of oppositions in my chart:

- Sun oppose Saturn
- Sun oppose North Node
- Mars oppose Saturn
- Moon oppose Uranus
- Jupiter oppose Venus
- Venus oppose Ascendant

With oppositions, we tend to identify with one side and disown the other.  The Universe then brings people with those hidden/disowned traits to annoy the hell out of us.  We then get extremely pissed off and moan to our friends about those irritating sods.  However, if you calm your mind and take an objective stance, you're likely to find that those jerks are merely mirroring a part of you that you have disowned.  For example, during my first Saturn return, I met some unsavory souls who challenged my self-esteem to the core.  I found them highly judgmental and critical.  I then discovered (through a mutual associate) that they are jealous and insecure on the inside hence they put on the mask of a bully to hide their own insecurities.  After some self-reflections, I honestly can admit that I too possess those negative qualities, just that I've buried them deep within me.  After that, I went through a phase of catching myself displaying those qualities on other people (i.e. judging and being critical of other people).  I'm still finding it an art to balance between being nice (Pisces) versus being stern (Virgo), but hey, that's what life is all about.  It certainly keeps me on my toes!

Oppositions are like see-saws, besides owning one side and projecting the other, we might jump from one side to the other.  This is how my Moon-Uranus opposition, straddling across the 4th-10th axis, is turning out in reality.  One minute I just want freedom and focus entirely on my career, and the next, I see all my married friends, some are even mothers, around me and I crave to have my own family too.  Recently though, I've been in close contact with a number of working mums - ones with high powered jobs or their own businesses to attend to.  It's amazing to see how they balance both sides with ease (on the surface of course) but it's rather inspirational to see them having the best of both worlds.  However, they do tend to lean towards the family side more as they are willing to stunt their career growth in order to allow more time for their children.  I see people like them and think - how can I effectively use my Moon-Uranus opposition?  Can I achieve that too?

The Jupiter-Venus opposition is an aspect which took me the longest time to understand.  I once consulted a professional astrologer and I specifically asked her about that aspect.  Her reply was 'Jupiter is a beneficial planet, Venus is too.  So you have lots of good things opposite each other - too much of a good thing is not so great.'  End of explanation.  Oh, thanks for that analysis, it's as clear as mud!..........Last year, I met a fantastic astrologer - Lilian, who is one of the founders and the current president of Hong Kong Astrology Club.  I discussed my Jupiter-Venus opposition with her, which to be fair, is really a quincunx (out-of-sign aspect).  Her answer was surprisingly insightful.  She said just by looking at the planets, I should have lots of love opportunities but I just don't see them that way (very true!).  Then she said I should focus on the signs too - Cancer versus Aquarius, flipping between wanting freedom and independence on the one hand but craving emotional support on the other.  I've always given that interpretation to my Moon-Uranus, but my Jupiter-Venus actually reinforces that delineation too.  What she said was pretty basic but it's like asking a hair stylist to cut his own hair, you can only do so much before you come to unreachable places/blindspots and are unable to continue.  I like sharing my chart with other astrologers, I always hear something new every time.

What have you disowned/projected?

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