I'm the worse at being self-deprecating. I never realised the negative impact it could have on one's health until my skin rash almost two years ago. Striving for perfection was my justification. Afterall, what's wrong with pushing yourself to achieve your highest potential? Having read Louise Hay's 'You Can Heal Your Life' though, I came to the conclusion that my intention was positive, but my method certainly had room for improvement. Louise discovered that most ailments can be traced back to self-worth issues - i.e. not liking yourself, not being comfortable in your own skin.
In Gill Edwards' 'Living Magically', she gave a rather poignant example which stayed with me ever since - If a friend made a mistake or failed to achieve a task, what would you say to him/her? Personally, I would say 'Hard luck! At least you've tried your very best. Learn from the experience and move on.' So why is it that when it's YOU who have made a mistake, you beat yourself up thinking over and over about it and calling yourself all sorts of names?! Just because it's YOU doesn't mean that you can abuse yourself in that way. You are allowed to be kind to yourself. Admittedly, I do occasionally lapse into my self-critical mode. However, I'm trying my hardest to be gentle with myself and to say 'Well done' or 'You've tried your best' instead of 'That's not good enough', or 'How stupid!'
From my birthchart, I identified the elements which explain my self-deprecating ways and my fears in believing in myself. I have Saturn in Virgo in 2nd house oppose Sun and Mars in Pisces. With oppositions, one of the lessons is to be aware and to balance the two opposing sides. This astrological discovery had led me to trust myself and be more confident in my decision-making. I'm less likely to allow outside influences to hinder my plans.